Now What?

It’s amazing how little changes over time when you move back to your home town. Businesses turnover, houses are built, new roads are constructed and old ones are paved but nothing really changes. In the 5 months that I have been home I have not only found myself in or near my High School, the location of my first job, the venue of my junior prom but also my Middle School and Elementary School and even the hospital I was born in…It’s overwhelming how little has changed.

Do I sound stuck up yet? Do I sound like a travel snob? Maybe, but I’m just trying to work some things out in my head so bear with me for a bit longer.

I’m at a crossroads.

And now I’ll take a moment to be overly dramatic:

Who am I when I’m not traveling?
Will my friends still like me?
Will we have anything other than travel to talk about?
Can I still call myself a “Trailing Spouse”?
Who’s going to read my blog if I’m not even abroad anymore?

Whew. I hope that you read that in as whiny a tone as I wrote it. Ugh. Alright, that’s out of my system.

Although…If I’m perfectly honest I have been going through quite an identity crisis since we arrived Stateside. I suppose that’s probably why I haven’t worked up the nerve to write anything until now.

I don’t want to seem ungrateful to all of the people who have been supportive of our journey. I don’t want to come off snobbish. I know that it may sound ridiculous to some of you reading that I would find coming home to be a ‘struggle’. But it is…For almost two years my family and myself have operated under a debilitating level of stress. Before that, my husband and I very nearly lived separate lives while he traveled without us. We subjected our two children to over 5 languages without the additional help they needed to learn english effectively. We lived as though we were on vacation for two years. and then we came home…

I managed to gain 70 lbs over the course of two years. My children are now almost three and still having trouble grasping english. My husband and I are struggling to learn how to come back together as partners. It always feels like the shoe is about to drop because, of course, the prospect of going back out on the road is always a possibility.

I love my family and my network of friends. I am truly grateful for all of their support and willingness to listen to my griping and their forgiveness of me not returning phone calls, canceling play dates and generally hiding out because I’m finding the adjustment back into this life very difficult.

For now, that’s all I’ve got. There’s a lot that I need to figure out. I do think that this blog can continue because we learned a LOT from our travels that I think could be helpful for anyone considering the lifestyle, especially with young children. So there, plan on seeing and hearing more.

Thanks again for your support and love, and I hope you keep reading!


Categories: Moving Abroad

1 reply

  1. I think this is all normal. You’ve been shifting some pretty big gears and it’s going to take a while for all the little cogs to line up neatly again.

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